Kasab well and alive
Mumbai, Feb 04, 2009

Kasab well and alive

The lone terrorist captured alive during the November 2008 attacks in Mumbai, Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasab, is well and alive. Broken-Newz has got an exclusive photograph of Kasab in police custody which rubbish Pakistani reports that the terrorist might be dead.

In the picture, Kasab is seen sitting on a chair during an interrogation. He has visibly lost weight and is looking leaner than his previous famous click at the CST railway station on the 29th of November.

Before___________________________________________________________After

This however has only vindicated Pakistan’s stand on Kasab. Prime Minister Zardari had repeatedly stated “Kasab is not a Pakistani. Period. If somehow India proves that Kasab is a Pakistani, then I would like to add that he definitely ain’t a terrorist. Kasab is just a young obese Pakistani youth who had gone to our friendly neighbor India to shed some kilos”. Media reports in Pakistan have been claiming that the so called terror camps in PoK are nothing but cheap cardio-gym for the youth.

It may be noted that during the Lahore Declaration of 1999, India and Pakistan had agreed to improve bi-lateral relations by a series of ‘confidence-building measures’. Fighting obesity jointly was identified as the most significant CBM.

Pakistan Foreign Minister in his latest reaction has said “We are happy that Kasab is alive. I would request the international community to pressurize India to let go off Kasab. Losing more weight will make him look thin and weak. This is intolerable. Pakistan is a sovereign state. Inshah Allah, we won’t allow others to dictate fitness terms to us.”

Broken News
Mangalore, January 29, 2009

Moral brigade attacks women in Mangalore

Amnesia, a famous pub in the heart of Mangalore city was open to stag entry on Wednesday night (The Bollywood Night). Reportedly this overwhelming cultural change was the result of the rom sainik’s operation on Sunday.

For a long time; the sainiks were deeply upset on not being able to woo the females to gain entry into the pub. “Even the flashy orange clothes don’t attract them, who#es”, states one of them.

“Stag culture is our culture. Jai shri rom.”

Broken News
Chandigarh, January 30, 2009

"Chandigarh definitely witnessed a lunar eclipse" - Fiza

ISRO chairman Madhavan Nair, who was awarded the Padma Vibhushan, said the honour was a recognition of his organization’s success.

In launching India's Moon mission, Chandrayaan-1. Throwing light on the data captured by the chandrayaan he mentioned “Moon is not a lamb; Moon weighs 96 kg and Moon currently is a Muslim.” Further he rubbished reports stating that the moon has been abducted.

“It was just a partial lunar eclipse. We are in constant touch with Fiza too.”

Broken News
Mumbai, January 30, 2009

Not a good time to be a 'Raju'

In a direct attack at India’s Laughter Index, Raju Shrivastava was found murdered at his Oshiwara residence in suburban Andheri on Thursday night.

In the press conference, the DGP of Mumbai police dictated “Raju’s naked dead body was found hanging from the fan at his Oshiwara residence. One of the private parts…oh ho…hasiye mat…yes…one of the private parts of Raju had been inserted into another private part of Raju. Also, the chest had been tattooed ‘Now this is funny :)’”

Perhaps trying to live up to the spirit of humor that Raju lived for; an overanxious journalist asked jokingly “Did Raju’s facial expression suggest he was enjoying the situation before his death.” The joke was met with laughter, applause all around. Hats off to Mumbai spirit.

Asked if the murder could have been the mastermind of a jihadi group based out of our neighboring country; the DGP said that they have found a fake Indian passport by the name of ‘Gajjodhar Bhaiya” near the body. Alongside was a note that read “This aint a Pakistani passport, suckers.”

The DGP repeated the spelling of ‘Gajodhar Bhaiya’ five times for the benefit of the journalists.